Don’t get me wrong by the title of my post, but more and more people I know are winding up in unhappy marriages. Either they are happily married but factors around them tend to make them unhappy, or they get forced into marriages they don’t want, or modernity of the lifestyles make it apparent that two very broad minded or independent people can’t seem to find some solace together. … Or maybe its just me knowing a lot of troubled people, but I know very happy couples, but I also know increasingly unhappy ones.. and usually the unhappiness doesn’t trail off from each other solely but by other random things that have taken priority.
Are we too open-minded and free to be able to live with another? It doesn’t have to be a love marriage or an arranged marriage that fail or tend to fail, its just all sorts of marriages. I think people have started to own themselves a little too much. I may be that way a little myself. We are so full of ourselves that it seems to be difficult to alter our lives around someone else, but even if we do.. mainstream things like partner’s fiends, family, career, bank balance.. it just seems to affect individuals.
We’re in a world where people tend to say “you buy your beer and I’ll buy mine” .. what’s the cause? Are we too educated to be abel to mould? Is it our surroundings that leave us wanting more with or without the support of a partner? More and more people are opting to be career-oriented and single. Is this because a relationship might be too difficult to maintain around your other priorities in life, like careers, social, education etc?
I’ve seen people shy away from marriage after really long periods of courtship… back in the day, marriage was second nature, and now it is more of a fully calculated decision and there is also no shying away from divorce or separation. Single parents are a common thing because well, you can afford it and people are getting married really late.
Are we not being able to make sound decisions? I know people who’ve been in love and have gotten married, now advising others not to.. they say “stay single and enjoy..I wish I knew then what I know now” .. this keeps me wondering “what” is actually the revelation anyway? A marriage comes with compromise from both sides to gain harmony in each other’s lives.. once the honeymoon period is over, there is a black hole. You either succumb, ignore, or whine.
I’ve come to the thinking that two people need to be broad minded to allow each other into their lives with their good and bad, flaws and all the baggage because that’s what life is. Everyone has a past, everyone has flaws and no one is perfect but as long as you are willing to accept them and their circumstances, it will simplify life. I know some couples who are in joint families and they are either unhappy or are silently drifting apart because one of them don’t want to adjust their time for the sake of greater family time. So here there is one person who wants to live with his/her family and there is their partner who wants to live in a separate house with the partner which would be the ideal scenario.
There are always solutions around things, but when one partner is more adamant and rooted about their point and won’t look at it from another perspective, it becomes difficult to communicate, until one gives up- that isn’t healthy. Is today’s generation of couples strong minded to not communicate? Do they give up too quickly? Do they stop caring after a while? Are we past the age when things bothered us to a point it would affect our lives and now people just …. move on?
What do you think is the issue these days with couples?